When Death is Just Another Re-run

It would seem that beheading videos have become passe. Though I've seen a few obligatory links to the recent videos; they've caused none of the euphoric excitement of four months ago. These days, a video of some poor man getting his head chopped off is received with a yawn. And why shouldn't it be? We all know their script by now:There will be about four guys in cheap black ninja costumes standing in front of a flag. One of them will spend about 6 min angrily yelling about something in another language. Often, his speech will be long winded enough to require him to read it from typed pages. Then, he'll yell something loudly in another language, and cut off kidnapped victim's head.

Rocking the Idiot Vote

Okay, its true: Nadar does speak out against
issues that most Democrats won't touch. His campaign speeches criticize
NAFTA, WTO, deregulation of the airwaves, and corporate welfare. And
yes -- he thinks we should have more than two parties. So, to recap:
Nadar talks and has opinions. He is also a shameless egoist who
exploits the idealism of young leftists, and old idiots.

claims that its "the Democrat's fault" if they cannot gain support from
the left-wing's most naive and stupid voters. Nadar says that Kerry
should "end the war in Iraq"," create a system of universal health
care", and enforce a "living wage" (which he left undefined). Indeed we
would all like to see Nader's dreams bloom into a world without war,
pollution, or poverty. Unfortunatly, those dreams are divorced from

Future Strategies for Progressives

To begin, all progressive minded individuals need to eradicate their faith in revolution, or as it is commonly called in the parlance of our times, "waking people up". Every time you think people are going to magically "wake up", follow this proceedure:
Go to the grocery store and look at the masses of dead-eyed, sleepwalkers contently waddling down the aisles. Those are your voters. Repeat the Following Mantra:Your political message is for them, not you.Your only Job is to turn your message into actual votes.If you think elections are won with reason, truth, or moralityThan dear lord my friend, politics is not for you.
The GOP and Karl Rove understand , and take advantage of this fact. As a result, those dolts keep winning elections. It's a sad fact that Republicans are yet to lose on account of overestimating the stupidity of voters.Notes on Language:Here's a few hints on crafting messages: don't bring up controversial social issues unless necessary. We should take back the language! Humor me, and contemplate the differences in your responses to these two sentences:
"It's a woman's right to have an abortion! We must stop these fundamentalists fromcreating their theological fascist regime!"

The Answer to One of Life's Great Mysteries: Why Everything On TV Sucks

For the sake of getting it out of the way, I will sum up my impression of the conventions in one sardonic paragraph:

If a high school pep rally and an infomercial had a baby, than it would probably look like the conventions. Beyond that, file any pundit or blogger that classified either convention as a solid "success" or "failure" under "T", for "transparent and partisan quack." Finally, its clear that we must hunt down all voters who were naive and gullible enough to be swayed by either of the conventions. When found, we should pay those feeble minded $1000 dollars to never vote again. Call me extreme, but I consider those voters to be the greatest threat to our great Republic. Remarkably, that's all I have to say about the conventions.

You see, whenever I analyze TV-age politics, I do this freakish thing called "thinking". Its a habit that worries me, as some experts believe that thinking leads to acne and growing hair on your hands. However, I nevertheless feel compelled to show the world the results of my dirty habit.

First off, I don't trust anything that a politician puts into a sound-bite. I don't care if they are Democrats, Republicans, or from our garden variety pack of third parties. I find all political "messages" and "themes" to be as inspiring and honest as the sales pitch of a door-to-door-$2000 -vacuum cleaner-salesman. Bush claims that he'll win the war on terror. Kerry claims he'll insure every American. Yet, until one of them appoints Merlin the magic wizard as their chief of staff, I'll go ahead and consider their promises to be as solid as wind.

Our Saving Pricniples

"Nothing of Importance This Day"- Dairy of King George III on July 4th 1776

America's independence was actually declared by the Continental Congress on July 2, 1776. However, Thomas Jefferson's document The Declaration of Independence was adopted on the July 4. In otherwords, this was a case where a document has overshadowed an actual event. By publishing those words, our founding fathers had effectively signed their own death warrants. Jefferson wrote that he intended the document to be a harmonize of the sentiments of the day. The Declaration was to be "an expression of the American mind," which was to placed "before mankind the common sense of the subject, in terms so plain and firm as to command their assent." Our founding fathers showed the sort of courage which bears repeating 228 years later. On the eve of Independence Day, John Adams wrote to his wife, "I am well aware of the toil, and blood, and treasure, that it will cost us to maintain this declaration, and support and defend these states. Yet, through all the gloom, I can see the rays of light and glory; I can see that the end is more than worth all the means, and that posterity will triumph." Upon signing the document, John Hancock joked, "There! His Majesty can now read my name without glasses. And he can double the reward on my head!" After signing the document, Ben Franklin reminded his friends, "We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately."The abolitionist Fredick Douglass called the declaration our "saving principles". He reminds us today "to be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost." Lincoln's words might chime our mystic chords of memory:


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