top cleric declares nicklewis.org spam free
Update Actually, I think the spam is under control now. Only a few thousand that needed to be cleaned. In other news, I've sent my blog's mullah into exile.
The Grand BigTime Nick Lewis, Mr. Nick Lewis expressed his concern at morning prayers. With pointy finger firmly raised to god, the Grand BigTime declared "The publishers of nicklewis.org do extend their blessings and good intentions and most peoples of the earth. However, we cannot ignore the mischievous knaves, and foreign spies that insist that the greatest blog on the planet is being spammed. We know about you, Santa says you've been very naughty. You may not see fat man in suit, but Santa is sly, and your sins are awkward and clumsy. "
The GrandBigTime was visibily shaken as he uttered, "I can see you, person in India, person in Belgium, our intelligence knows you are here. We will not tolerate your instance upon messing with Texas. Texas is strong, Texas is prudent. (editors note: The GrandBigTime lives in Texas). Furthermore, we state that we are holy and you are wicked. If this was not true than why would I wear this important looking hat?"
This is the first time within the republic of nicklewis.org that a man with a dignified beard and a hat that makes him look important has said such harsh words.
One of GrandBigTime's aids with a slightly less important looking hat reiterated GrandBigTime's position:
"These rumors of the publishers of nicklewis.org hiding from their computer because they spend to much time online are totally false, and the publishers of nicklewis.org reiterate that the accusations of pure laziness are slander. For our unity we ask that you repent, and properly report yourself to the strange man in the red vest behind you... he's there, we know are wicked, because we have Santa!"
Then, the GrandBigTime raised his hands, which make his special hat look bigger, and once again, stuck his pointy finger up to the sky.* "Santa Clause is Great -- and he sees your wickedness!"
GrandBigTime expressed his solidarity with his important hat wearing compatriot in Iran, but then artfully farted in their general direction. GrandBigTime denies that the gesture was iantentional, and noted that farting is considered the most polite greeting he can give to a Supreme Leader. A bystander whispers, "GrandBigTime is waiting for the Santa to leave... he's a jackass, but that iranian guy -- is the one and only supreme douche...."